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Change 101: How to Get the Changes You Desire
Here's a bold statement: Change can be simple and easy. It really does not have to be so hard, although sometimes we make it much harder than it needs to be. And there's really no magic involved. Although I do like this quote from science-fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke: Any sufficiently developed technology is indistinguishable from magic. What I have found is that what most people need is simply someone to coach them on how to get the changes they want. Whether it's in writing, speaking or in private consultations, I really just see myself as a "change coach", helping people to quickly and effectively get the changes they want in their lives and to make the changes last. With that in mind, what I'll offer you today is a simple and effective strategy for getting the changes you want. I'll leave it to you to apply the details from your own situation. The change strategy is called "The 3 D's of Change", which stand for Decide, Do, and Distinguish. Let's take a closer look at each of these three. Decide Many people talk about wanting to change, but they have never really decided to change. One of the key ways to make change easier is to make the decision that no matter what, from this day forward, things will be different. The root word for the word decision is incision, so the word decision means to cut off any other possibility than achieving the change you desire. Once you have really decided to change, the rest is really just the details of how you are going to get from where you are to where you want to be. So before you embark on your journey of change, make sure that you have genuinely and strongly decided that you will change. It's kind of like the old joke, "How many counselors does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the lightbulb has got to really want to change." Do After you have decided to change, the next step is to do all the necessary things to get the changes you want. You can't do some, you can't do most, you must do ALL the necessary things to get the changes you want. The really good news here is that you do not have to stumble around, blindly doing things to change, not knowing if they will help or not. Through a process called modeling, we do not have to re-invent the wheel. The process of modeling involves finding someone who has done or is doing what you want to do, finding out how they do it, and then adapting it to your own situation. Successful change always leaves a trail. All we have to do is follow it, adapt it and make it our own. Whatever the key factors involved, the next step is to follow the acronym CMICA (pronounced ka-mee-ka). To get the changes you want, you must take Consistent-Massive-Intelligent-Creative Action. When you follow this plan, you build so much momentum that change is inevitable. Distinguish Another nice thing about the 3 D's of Change is that you now get to distinguish between what is working and what is not. Are you getting the results you want? If you are, keep doing what you are doing, it's obviously working. If you are not getting the results you want, here's the next two things to do: Go back and ask yourself if you have really decided to change. Then go back and see it you have actually done all the necessary things to change. Did you leave anything out? Did you do anything only halfway? If you've decided to change and are doing all the necessary things to change and are still not getting the results you want, it's time to change your strategy. If it's not working, it's not working, and it's time to find something that does. Perhaps you are modeling the wrong people or have chosen the wrong strategies. Find someone else to model and/or choose different strategies until you are getting the results you want. Decide, Do and Distinguish. Apply these 3 D's of Change to your life and watch the changes start to flow. And then, keep the change! Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
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